Winturd Has Come; Are You Coming?

It’s November. For ski and snowboard enthusiasts, it means the oncoming season. The time of the year when we impatiently wait for our waiting to pay off, in the form of the first big snow and the anticipation of a great season begins its onslaught. Here are some of the sentiments skiers and snowboarders might have while waiting for the snow to begin.

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Warning: this article contains strong sentiments from an author who is stuck in summertime mode. Winterites may be offended. winturd

Cypress, the last time I saw it. Yeah, that’s winturd all right.

Being normal is overrated. Just kidding, being normal is just fine, not being able to be normal and getting mad about it is definitely overrated. Overusing words and talking back to oneself is definitely also overrated. And you know what else is “O–“? Opening day.

Is it really winturd already? I sure haven’t felt it. Between shirking readings and palm sweating fruitless essay-writing sessions, or just plain procrastinating, I never really got to observe the changing leaves outside. While the air was getting colder, I was just complaining of higher hydro bills, cursing the inadequacy of my sweater and just being cold. Did I say I was cold? Well, that was how I started to know everything was wrong. With the grouse grind and some running to keep my blood flowing last summer I was never ready to sit down for a standstill (I was simply depressed when the grind closed, since that was my pre- this summer’s grand total of five day hikes) I enjoyed getting physically into it…you pervert. It was fun to feel alive and young, not decrepit and…No wait, I don’t feel that way, I can’t, I’ve got my board waiting for me. Stop getting hung up on being lazy already.

Well, winter called, man made winter that is. There’s not a fleck of real snow on the mountain. At least, even if there was, it’s so derelict it isn’t even worth promoting. As the cash rolls in for the local mountains, we here a scant hour away wonder: what is this thing called winter? What is the essence to going away into a mountain, hibernating there for half a year by ripping up the snow, and then going back to the slums-downtown? What are we going to do?

The non lazy me says action is action. The me that was me for about the last 8 years is saying it wants to rear its head into the snow again already. The newly minted 1-year-total-sleep-deprivation-me says fuck no wait till the real thing. And in between all of that is this white space, which I imagine every other skiier and rider embodies, too, after their first season and/or being roughened up by life.

It opened, okay. Mcdonalds’ opens 24/7; does that mean you celebrate it constantly? What’s the line? Some wait until that line is buried in snow. Others jump off their skateboards and run for the hills the moment there is any chance of slide-a-bility. But “life” I tell you, is just a huge excuse. If you actually read to the bottom of this, you can also be there.

Thank you.

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