Closet Skiier

Hey guys!
I know I’m risking my balls here but…

I’m a closet skiier.

Snowboarding is just way too mainstream nowaways, yo.

Everyone and their grandma’s got in on the riding on the mountain.

It’s not as ballsy anymore as it is to slide up an icy jump sideways than it is straight up facing front.

All my friends ski and I’m the only one wearing clothing three sizes too big.

At the end of the day I feel like I’m dragging around ten tons of rags from all the snow that’s launched itself up my gear.

Too mainstream now, you know? Too many young kids who have no idea what they’re doing on the mountain, having a fling, messing up the snow, and leaving “for something more realistic” before they can do anything for the sport.

It’s not cool to be mainstream, so I gotta start talking clean and dressing clean on the mountains if I want to stand out.

Stupid punks! Where are they? We need them to make snowboarding other than hipster again.

-A Closet Skiier

Snowboarding is my general mode of snow transport. I also only have a snowboard and not enough time to pick up skiing, too. But I’ve thought about skiing a million times but only at first because skiing seemed easier and all my friends ski. Only recently after my friend, who hasn’t been insofar interested in sports but is in snowboarding because it’s cool, borrowed my skateboard for an hour and is planning to buy one because “It’s cool” did I realize we’re not alone on this punk boat anymore. I can run away the mountains but skiing’s history’s got something to offer too. Skiing has sanctioned stuff, it’s done by rich people usually while snowboarding is usually done by poor people. It can be said that longtime skiier are more patient, while snowboarders are more likely to leave you behind…their time is being burned on the mountain and time is what little money they have.

Instead of saying “skiing is g**” it should be “not liking skiing is g**.” The more people who get into snow sports, the better, right? If it was a powder day and I only had skis I’ll fall down the mountain rather than not go.

All I want to do is befriend everyone on the mountain. I don’t want to look like a douchey snowboarder because I want to make friends with skiiers and snowboarders alike. Why is it in general that skiiers who can ski don’t say “I’m a skiier” and the snowboarders who can’t ride and say “I am a snowboarder”? Snowboarding is a way of life and only just a past time…but so is skiing, and snowboarding in my age and generation at least has been so overblown I really find myself looking at its roots and wanting to see it as it really is (and not what it is hyped up to be.) I’m fascinated that snow sports can be invented just like that, and wonder at the possibilities of al the million other ways you could slide down the mountain. Imagine the adrenaline rush of a new form way of moving. Then again, the art of sliding on flat surfaces has already been perfected!


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