Snowboarding as an commercial hard goods industry tries too hard. Yeah, I’m looking at you, skulls and dripping curse words. That’s the best of it. Those dam nice graphics in the store translate to try hards on the slope, where skulls and sexual innuendoes are a dime a dozen, and good riders are on a ratio of 1000:1. Snowboard graphics have pushed the envelop so hard since its inception the message has been lost to outer space. Instead I propose a graphics industry where snowboards don’t break the envelop but aim to stay sealed inside. Here are a few of my safely message-tucked-inside designs:
The Be Safe from Protection Rides Co. $599. Start up company by a gang of “equal guys and girls” looking to keep people safe, and not make a lot of money with “tampon packaging inspired graphics”. Each limited edition board comes with a holographic sticker guaranteed to save you from spills. Their motto is “Keeping you safe, just like your favourite ******”
Not sure why they went with an asterix rather than spell *. Maybe it B* stands for something?
(to be continued…not)