One day I was browsing my friend’s TwoFacedbook account. There were lots of pictures of her looking great and happy partying with her friends. A second later, before I could even click on one of the pictures, my friend caught me on chat and wailed to me: HII HOW ARE YOU?
You must be great, I thought. I am fine, I typed. Quickly I was replied: ARGH! Life sucks right now. Help?
Me, I said: Are you sure? You look great right now. Someone jack your account?
Said my friend: What are you talking about?? HELLO? ARE YOU THERE?
ARE YOU THERE????
Someone hacked your account, sorry I don’t converse with hackers…
U THERE!!! CMON!!!! IM NOT A HACKER!! IM REALLY MEEE!!
I had already logged off.
The same thing happened on Twiddler. And then Instagross. What a commotion! Everywhere I went seemed to heave its facade on me. I for one felt exhausted after an hour of social media and resolved to power off and leave them be.
I laid down on my bed and got comfortable. Just as I was drifting off, I felt a hard object vibrate near me. Then something that sounded like an alarm went off.
I had forgotten to turn off my phone.
I had gotten a message on my I-Moan. Uh-oh, I thought. My phone was my last resort. I couldn’t cut off from that.
GET BACK ON TWOFACEDBOOK, my friend texted.
I threw my I-Moan at the wall and it left a fist size hole in the wall whereupon an eye peeked through. It was my mom.
“What are you children smoking these days?” she inquired incredulously. “No need to throw an expensive piece of technology away. Think of how useful it’s been and what if you didn’t have one like everybody else does!”
“Nah, mom! I’m not on anything! I’m really just thinking about what if I really didn’t have one like everyone else does!”
Another ten minute post brought to you by Thisiswhattheinsideofmyheadlookslikeallthetime. None of this is based on real life events. Any similarities are purely coincidental.